#on how i've been dissatisfied with my work and my job for a while. and i think i want something deeper

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

yknow i enjoy tedependent as much as the next guy, and i get the temptation, i truly do, but i think implying or outright saying trent imploded his career and told the truth about giving up his source only or mainly because he had romantic feelings for ted takes away from what actually happened there?? like. him being willing to throw away his career and in such a spectacular way (not just quitting but actually probably fucking his chances of working further as a journalist at all, i gather) wasn't necessarily a rom-com moment in the sense that it was for ted or about his feelings for ted alone. it was about himself, his own growing dissatisfaction with the toxic world of sports journalism and the kind of writing he was doing, the desire for "something deeper". that's not to say there's no tedependent take on this, or that hypothetical feelings for ted couldn't or didn't play a role. but like, it's also about his own character development, even if it is driven by ted (as many of the characters' developments are)

[kerink]

the thing that's been most surprising to me with mouthwashing so far is how little empathy people are willing to extend to curly. and i don't mean this in a piss on the poor way, i'm deeply saddened and genuinely confused by it.

when i first played the game i was at one of the lowest points i've been at in a really long time. my mental health is bad my physical health is bad. i experienced SA a year ago and was recently diagnosed with cancer. i have 2-5 doctors appointments every week with various specialists.

all the while me and two of my doctors are talking about if i need to make a career change that's going to best support my poor health and improve my overall well being. and my family and friends struggle to understand, because i have a doctorate and a good job and live on my own. everyone looks at my life in awe, and they don't understand why i'm unhappy. they tell me so every time i try to explain it.

so when i played i immediately identified with curly. here is a man who's deeply depressed, having hallucinations, trying to reach out to his best friend for support but just has his words thrown back in his face, doesn't want to burden anya with his stuff because she has her own stuff and he wants her to lean on him, he has all these responsibilities and people look up to him and rely on him and have these ideas about him. the highest wrung of their ladder is the lowest of his, and they have no way of conceptualizing why or how he's unhappy and dissatisfied. before the reveal that he's innocent, i completely understood why he attempted suicide.

and then he develops a new disability.

when jimmy goes to crash the ship, he uses curly's unhappiness to try to convince him a murder-suicide is a good idea, and it works. it buys jimmy enough time to get to the cockpit and crash the ship. curly's too in his own head to realize what jimmy meant because jimmy distracted him with how bad his life is. it isn't until the sirens start that curly snaps out of it and it clicks for him what jimmy's done.

i'm not going to re-litigate the issue about if curly could have done more for anya because i've said pretty much all i have to say on it already.

but we really need to highlight that in addition to his lack of tangible choices, he's sleep deprived, deeply depressed, and hallucinating. this is not a man in his right mind making his best choices.

and over and over again i see people refusing to extend him any empathy, to call him a bystander. does a man who says he'll do anything to help and who wanted to be there when anya broke the news and who does his best to play liaison between anya and jimmy sound like a bystander? he let anya keep the gun case! he knew having it would help her feel better!

how good of a friend have you been when you were in your pit of despair? how much were you able to pour into others when your glass was empty?

anya wanted her and curly's support to be reciprocal. if she has enough psych training to do the evals, and having been thru nursing school, she's probably well aware that she and curly need to both be pouring into each other if either of them are going to be any good to anyone. but curly is so determined to defend and protect anya he won't confide in her, despite the fact it's running him so thin that he almost takes jimmy's bait that suicide is a good idea.

i don't think we need to absolve curly of his responsibility. i don't think we should over look his role as an enabler. i don't think we should discredit or discount analyses of his failures. but i'm so tired of people actively avoiding getting in his shoes, getting in his head, reflecting on how they've acted in the past when thinking and feeling similar ways. our worst moments don't make us monsters.

it makes me so sad. and frankly it makes me feel like all the times my family hasn't understood when i've tried to reach out. curly is screaming in agony and just like jimmy we're just trying to keep him quiet because it's too complicated to deal with.

[fuck-customers]

Fucking why. Customer comes up in the middle of dinner rush and the first words out of his mouth are: "I just wanted to say, I'm disappointed" which you just know is gonna go into a long rant. So I'm trying to juggle serving people their food and listen to him bitch while he's holding up the register, going on his spiel about how he was dissatisfied with the portion sizes. And honestly? I get it. I think our portion sizes for certain things suck. It's something I've been suggesting to my boss we need to adjust for ages. But thats the thing, I as an employee have no power. I can make suggestions, but aside from putting my own job in jeopardy by idfk striking or something I can't do much more then that (and god knows I don't give enough shits abt the customers to risk my own income for them). So I tell him where the suggestion box is, where he can find channels to contact corporate and advise him to forward any complaints he has there and he's like, "No, YOU have to tell them. I've made complaints there before and it's useless. You employees have to say something"

At this point I'm over getting yelled at for things beyond my control so I just straight up tell him that I have even less power then the stupid box in what decisions my bosses make and there's nothing I can do for him. Ik I probs should've just said "I'll do that right away sir :)" to end the conversation n make him feel like he got what he wanted, but fuck that. I'm not getting 'called out' for following a policy I didn't even make. Cherry on top was him pulling the whole "Well you've just lost a customer" as he was leaving. Okay? And?? Lose one, ten more come in to take their place. Big woop.

Bottom line is, stop fucking getting pissy with employees over issues OUT OF THEIR CONTROL. Prices, portion sizes, changes to the business, none of that shit is up to us! If you have a problem with it find the fucking corporate email and go there! Stop bitching at us like we're the ones running the show, we just fucking work here.

Posted by admin Rodney.

[familyvideostevie]

hit me with the sunshine!james and grumpy!reader fluff, loser :)

-cece

how delicious! so good i'll ignore the name calling <3 all for you, @theemporium :) i've never done this trope before so hopefully this works!!! | fluff, fem!reader, grumpy!reader x sunshine!james, 1k

"If you keep frowning like that your face is going to stick," James says lightly. He startles you a bit, but you don't let it show. He knows you well enough to tell, anyway. He slides his hand over your lower back as you continue to stare, arms crossed, at the book in your hand.

"Ha, ha," you say, toneless. "James, it's no use." Your lower lip has a small indent in it like you've been chewing on it. He wonders if you'll let him kiss you in the store.

"What's no use, darling? Catch me up, I'm slow." Sometimes, if you're in the mood, you'll bump your hip with his when he teases like that. But you don't move, don't even lean into the hand on your back.

"I think today is going to be a bust." It's shopping day -- different from errand day, you both wander around local shops and buy things you don't technically need. Birthday presents, new clothes, books. It tires you out immensely and James knows that tonight you'll fall asleep in his lap with a movie in the background.

"Why's that?" he asks. You won't ask him to go home early, even if you're not enjoying yourself, since you know he's got things to buy. You won't even sulk -- that's not your style. He'll just be able to feel it radiate off of you, and while he adores your slightly sour disposition, he never wants you to actually be upset. Dissatisfied with the state of the world? Sure, who isn't. Annoyed at slow walkers? Again, join the club. He loves you when you're frosty, he loves you when you're grumpy, he loves you when you're soft in his arms when you wake up every morning. It doesn't matter. He loves it all.

"I--," you start. You set the book back down on the table perhaps a bit too forcefully, as you wince at the noise it makes. "I'm just annoyed they don't have the edition I wanted. When I called last week they said they did." You take a deep breath. "And I'm frustrated that I've dragged you here when it's on the other side of town as the stationary shop we need to go to for Remus and all the other places we need to visit." You sigh again, frown deepening. Time for him to make his move.

He's mastered this by now. James knows that you'll let him underneath your exterior no matter what, half because he's so damn charming and half because you want him to see you, to make you smile. And, if he's honest, he's got no idea why you let him. But from the moment you met it was clear that he was the perfect companion to your mood.

"I'll buy you another book. Two other books. No, three!" You turn towards him and his hand slides to the flesh of your hip, squeeing once, gently. "Well, any more than three and you definetly have to carry some."

You aren't convinced. "James, that's not the point --"

"Well, who needs books, anyway?" He hooks two long fingers through your belt loop and tugs gently. You allow it, falling into his chest and catching the lapels of his jacket, frown still in place. But he can see he's getting there -- your eyebrows are quirked in interest and your shoulders are already looser. He taps the tip of your chin with a knuckle before cupping your cheek. "I could just ravish you in the stacks of this shop, instead. No purchase required."

"James," you scold. Your grip on his jacket tightens and he can tell you're fighting a smile. "I will not be kicked out for public indecency. Who even says ravish, anyway? Who are you, a historical romance hero?"

He nods very seriously. "That's my day job, obviously. How did you not know? You really should pay more attention to me." That earns him an eye roll and tug at the corner of your mouth .

"Poor you," you drone. "Most neglected boyfriend on the planet."

He drags his thumb across your skin, watching it pull. Your nostrils flare. "No," he says. "No, I don't think so. You couldn't neglect me if you tried." He moves his face closer, so close that your noses brush. Your eyelashes flutter and your eyes close.

"Only because you're so bloody loud," you say, softly. "It's very hard to ignore you." He scoffs.

"Careful," he says. "Or I might think you're flirting with me." He drags it out even more, brushing his lips over yours without properly kissing you.

"Now that would be a real blow to my reputa--" you say, but he ends his own game and presses his lips to yours. You gasp and he swallows it, right there in the fiction section of the bookshop. James doesn't let it go on too long, lest you actually get kicked out, which would be a shame since he knows you do like this place normally. So after a few mostly decent-for-public kisses, he pulls away. Your hands loosen their grip on his jacket and he releases your face.

"Shall we go, then?" he asks, finding his voice a little rough. He loves the effect you have on him. You nod, frustration seemingly gone for now.

"I hate when you do that," you grumble, linking your fingers together. He squeezes your hand. "Cheer me up so easily."

"No, you don't," he says, beaming at you. You reach up and flick a loose curl back into place.

"No, I don't," you say, suppressing a smile. "I still don't have my book, though." Well, at least you no longer look put out about it.

"Then we'll go to every shop in the city, silly girl," James says, tugging you toward the exit. "We've got all day."

thank you for reading <3 reblog, send feedback, masterlist here!

[squirrel-art]

Finished my little compilation of Sav and her mobility aids! ID in alt for each.

Disclaimer that I'm able-bodied & open to criticism about my portrayal! Also I realized belatedly her rollator is parked in a way that would, in fact, not keep it from rolling the fuck around, my bad.

Further details about my design philosophy/Sav's symptoms under the cut.

I played Savtas through Consular Story Chapter 1 in Full Good Girl Mode, saving all the Jedi and using the shielding ritual whenever prompted. The side effects of the rituals are vague and inconsequential in-game so as to make the job of the writers and programmers easier; characters comment worriedly about the fact that you "look tired" and not much else.

Fortunately, I have none of these restrictions. I don't know how to scientifically quantify "life-essence", but in my canon the energy required to create and maintain the shields comes right out of the body of the shielder, and behaves first and foremost like a faster-than-sustainable burning of calories. In the short-term, Sav became dangerously malnourished and fatigued; in the long-term she developed PoTS and what I've been glibly referring to as "Force fibro" in my brain, because the symptoms she experiences are the similar to that of those who suffer from fibromyalgia in real life: chronic pain, chronic fatigue, disordered sleep, and brain fog.

Some of those physical symptoms are ameliorated via use of a mobility aid, so she's tried out a couple different types.

Rollator

Sav's mobility aid of choice, purchased somewhere at the beginning of Ch 2. Sav is prone to dizziness and fatigue, and has less difficulty walking than she does standing for long periods; the rollator helps keep her balance and gives her somewhere to sit for short spells when she needs to.

The wheels do make this device better for navigating flatter and more even ground, but I imagine she can swap the wheels out for all-terrain varieties. I wonder if you could put blades on them like ice skates, to move around on places like Hoth? Well, the brakes wouldn't work, so probably not.

As mentioned in a previous post on my other sideblog, the design and colors are meant to evoke the pillars of the old Jedi Temple on Coruscant. This model is bespoke, created to Savvy's whimsical specifications. It wasn't even that expensive; you'd be surprised how many discounts people are willing to offer a Jedi!

Chair

A gift from the Jedi Council upon her defeat of Terrak Morrhage and the subsequent quelling of the Force plague. It's a more expensive model, and comes with a sturdy stand to rest it on when it's charging or not in use.

Design inspo drawn from both canon sources and the wonderful hermitmoss' hoverchair headcanons post!

I deliberated for a while as to whether Sav would have been given a wheelchair or a hoverchair. I settled on hoverchair mostly because Sav wanted a certain level of independence in her movement, but nobody was sure how long it would take her to regain enough upper body strength to reliably push herself around in a manual chair.

Sav in this image is at the beginning of her recovery, but she does continually make use of her chair after regaining some of her weight and muscle mass. Her rollator became her device of choice over the chair in part because the chair is kind of bulky and heavy, and can't be easily collapsed for transport. She probably has a lighter, more maneuverable transport chair stored on the ship to utilize in a pinch.

Looking at the design of the chair, I am already dissatisfied with it - the seat isn't raked to keep her from sliding out of it, and the control panel should realistically be attached to an extension and not directly under her hand. We'll fix that in the next pass, I think, but for now this drawing is representative of the overall design and colors.

Cane

She's got a few of these! Most have an offset or contour grip because she finds them the most comfortable, and most have adjustable bases.

Her favorite is probably the non-adjustable wooden one she got from a craftsman on Alderaan, the only one she owns made of fully organic materials.

[cannibal-nightmares]

Some of my Stein Soul Eater playlists

I do a lot of driving for my day job. Before I was a driver, I used to work at a record store doing album reviews and critique, but even before then, music has always been at the center of my story ever since I was a wee child. To friends, I'm the designated car DJ, the guy with the playlist, the genre-bender. I've had all kinds of people ask me for music reccs, and, much to my surprise, Soul Eater-specific music reccs... This is all to say that every time I get into my car for work now and I reach to put on one of my playlists, I can't help but think "damn I need to make a public compilation or something." SO HUZZAH! Enjoy this mess of a collection. Everything here is a perpetual WIP and will be added onto until the end of time. (also feel free to send me music in my ask box, some of you have, I'm always clawing for new music, but I listen to a lot of music...)

So without further adieu, I'll start with my most-frequented playlist:

[Spotify] Somewhere more adjacent to a personal(!) fictionkin playlist, this is so far my longest and most-listened to [Soul Eater] mix. It mostly consists of metalcore and alt metal, with tonal themes of turmoil and chaos, but there are a couple curve-ball tracks to keep you on your toes (mostly of which came from recommendations of other people ^^;). I like to "smart shuffle" this list to find new alt bands. Word of warning that there's all kind of provocative unreality narratives throughout this playlist, that's just how it goes (my logic is a sort of comfort in discomfort). SHUFFLE IT!

Track highlight: "CANVAS" by AVRALIZE (rose, if you're reading this. hi. 📯)

[Spotify] WAAAHHHH While not one of my more-frequented listens, I've really enjoyed putting this one together over the past year. Songs of heartbreaking, "Will they? Won't they?" I've tried to remain true to alternative genres for the sake of consistent character tone, but there are streaks of teasing whimsy as per the dynamic of our calamity duo ^^

Track highlight: "The Void" by Spiritbox

[Spotify] One of my first Soul Eater playlists, I was really dissatisfied with other public Spirit-oriented playlists I had found. Semi-inspired by fan-made playlists for Tamaki Suoh of "Ouran High School Host Club," I love putting this one on if I'm feeling prideful and femme, hahaha. I revel in the occasional dirtiness sprinkled throughout this one and I plan to add more eventually, heh.

Track highlight: "Love Taste" by Moe Shop (ZOEY U KNO I HAD TO)

[Spotify] Alright, I'll admit this one is currently an ambitious mess. I've kind of just been passively adding onto this as I find music I think Stein might be interested in. I'm swayed to think he is a lyric-oriented person until a genre bends into avant garde (as I currently quite literally have it opening with a new-era Of Montreal song, WOOF). Every time I think about this playlist or move to listen to Tool or Radiohead I am reminded I really need to clean this one up. I'm an avid believer Stein would like Tool, lol. This one nears close to a similar-enough idea to a following playlist, "Franken's Static Calm." Ideally, this list will become very long in the future as it's supposed to be a pretend library of albums and artists, not necessarily individual tracks.

Track highlight: "Cardium" by Trigg & Gusset

[Spotify] Although very obviously a WIP at the moment, I'm including this playlist because I could have sworn I've extensively worked on it already (knowing me, I've probably made a Soul Eater playlist under a non-specific title, I have a terrible habit of doing that). This one is particularly in no specific order right now; I intend to include a lot more music parallel to the canon score including that of acid jazz, as cleverly and observantly curated in "soul eater vibes" by sacccstry. (WHICH IS A FANTASTIC PLAYLIST I highly recommend; I put it on in the car when I'm driving friends around for the viiibes) Currently, this playlist is majority made up of electronic call-to-arms. :)

Track highlight: "Killing Giants" by Puppet

[Spotify] OKAY WAIT HEAR ME OUT HOLD ON WAIT NO-- Essentially Soul's iPod, this is (and will continue to be) a disaster mess. I just think Soul likes it all. I think he has his favourite genres in eastern music, underground surfpunk, and acid jazz, I think he picks up tidbits of different songs by different artists from friends, I think he's the guy who can name random tracks from Bollywood films out of nowhere (cough this might be me I'm describing). I find Soul to seek complexity in easy-listening, and vise versa. ...Also to say that every time I hear Nirvana these days, I'm thinking about Soul Eater Evans ^^;; This playlist is a fustercluck right now, but I think a keen ear for music and en eye for the character will understand where I'm going with this one.

Track highlight: "Trick of the Light" by CIVIC (which. woof. I've seen CIVIC, El Khat, and Stonefield all in concert and is where my Soul-specific inspiration and intention derives from)

[Spotify] I'll make an attempt at justifying this one: It's simply that I get really dissatisfied by the generalization that Stein is nothing more than an edgelord reduced to cartoony theatrics, ones that depict him as inherently self-loathing while simultaneously and paradoxically prideful. ...This being said, I am guilty of frothing over edgy angst themes often found in heavy alternative music. As I add onto this playlist, it is mostly of tone, generally catering to a sort of juvenile taste of edge, and I might even begin to include classic emo genres.(Don't get it misconstrued: I love it all. /gen) Think the grunge side of Warped Tour.

Track highlight: "Gauze" by Deftones

[Spotify] Currently closely adjacent and overlapping to the WIP that is "Franken's iPod," this is one I am trying to keep to it's more calming paces. Somewhere in between a rainy night and [eventually to include] ambiance, I started this one to have something to put on in the background. Eventually it will have more melodic noise and ambient soundscape like that of The Black Dog and Aphex Twin and Yellow Swans, but as for now it is a major WIP that I wouldn't mind folks taking a peek into. (...Also "Ultraviolet" by Spiritbox is in here because for some reason it provokes in my mind's eye that of younger Stein having a quiet moment of peace to himself. I don't know why.) In this vein of reason, I'd love to make a Stein-oriented harsh noise playlist sometime.

Track highlight: "Cup Noodle" by The Black Dog

[Spotify] A guilty-pleasure playlist, this is a short list of songs I've found either lyrically or tonally fit Stein, but, distinctly, not both. I can be particular like that.

Track highlight: "Wet Specimen" by SWEET SPINE

Although a long list, I still have so many other SE/FF playlists as their time comes. I constantly have my feelers out for new music and soundscapes, other work in progresses to include Stein/Justin, fanfic playlists (of my own and for others), and one specifically for Black Star which currently only has "When I Grow Up" by NF on it at the moment ^^;

ANYWAYS ENJOY ENJOY I can't continue sitting on these, GO FORTH AND EXPLORE!

a bonus secret-not-so-secret playlist, heh -> "you're one sadistic man"

[steppingonyourshadow]

Selected excerpts from GQ February 2024

His is a face that's constantly under a microscope. A few months ago, his studio posted a series of photos for his birthday. Sharp-eyed netizens noted immediately that his face had "become rounder". In order to play Guo Jing of Tsui Hark's Legend of Condor Heroes, Xiao Zhan put on weight before filming began. His face was no longer so narrow, and he had obviously bulked up. The photos showed him with a scattering of stubble, a little rough.

Strictly speaking, Legend of Condor Heroes is Xiao Zhan's second movie. There have already been many iconic portrayals of Guo Jing, so the pressure was obviously on.

The day of the GQ cover shoot, Xiao Zhan got up early to go for a run. He couldn't help but worry that he'd lose muscle mass from sweating so much, and hesitated over whether to continue. Finally he decided to do a full 30 minutes. After that, it occurred to him that he wouldn't start burning fat until 30 minutes in, so he did another 10.

It's all for the sake of the job. "Actually, I'd rather not be running - it decreases muscle mass. But I have to, to get rid of bloating." After the shoot, no matter how late it got, he plans to go do more weight training. The discipline of an actor is the constant process of creating their character's look, all the while strictly controlling their diet and maintaining their figure. Xiao Zhan sees both as standard and imposes this standard on himself.

I was curious how he felt having been under constant scrutiny these past few years. I wasn't expecting him to say that it was barely on his mind most of the time, and hadn't brought much disruption to his life either, that the "cruelest" thing was "not being able to eat whatever I want".

"I still sneak out for a bike ride, or a walk. I've been spotted just the once, within five minutes of walking around a Hutong. I've also snuck into cinemas to watch movies, no one cares that you're there, really. Once you're away from the internet, a lot of problems just solve themselves. Sometimes we think what's in front of us is the whole world, that's a mistake, but one that can't be avoided. Nothing to be done about it."

There are lots of things he wants to do, like ride the subway, go shopping. "I really will use the subway, maybe tomorrow, nothing extraordinary about that. I used to do it every day."

For Xiao Zhan, this is real life. He's no longer bothered by social media comments.

"If I still let it get to me after all this time, what kind of life would I live?" He laughs. "Really, it's fine."

Right now, Xiao Zhan is very satisfied with his life. "I have my work, my own life, and an audience that appreciates me. Nothing to be dissatisfied about."

To an extent, Xiao Zhan's relaxed state stems from increasing clarity about his goals. Outside voices no longer bother him, he knows what he wants and what he doesn't want. Right now, more and more he's trying to simplify. In the past two years, he hasn't done much variety, choosing to focus on acting as his most important goal.

Three shows in which Xiao Zhan played the main character aired in 2023. Each character was a challenge in different ways. During the interview, Xiao Zhan said "it was a lot of pressure" many times, in relation to each of these stages, but his tone was always light, nothing of the heaviness of someone bemoaning difficulties, and more like an analytical mindset after the event, with concrete and objective reasoning: this show was the first time he did green screen, that one was his first solo lead role, first contemporary drama...

Where Dreams Begin was a script Xiao Zhan loved. He really likes stories from that era. When he was a kid he watched Bloom of Youth and Happiness As Flowers. In his mind the 70s and 80s shine brightly, in vivid colour.

Many say that the character of Xiao Chunsheng is perfect, but Xiao Zhan saw this as his greatest flaw. He found the character very interesting and wanted to give it a go. Xiao Chunsheng is a Beijing kid. How to convey his demeanor and speak in authentic Beijing dialect was no small challenge to Xiao Zhan who grew up in Chongqing.

The Longest Promise's Shi Ying is cold and aloof. Because he didn't want to disappoint everyone who had high expectations of his guzhuang look, Xiao Zhan pushed himself above and beyond to lose weight before filming began. "The Longest Promise was a script I got in 2020. Among the ones I had to choose from, it was the one with the most well-rounded characters, and the most nuanced relationships. Plus, it had a strong sense of internal logic and coherence. So it was my best choice."

Sunshine By My Side is the one Xiao Zhan had been considering the longest. He was given the script in 2019. Sheng Yang may be in the same line of work Xiao Zhan had been doing before debuting, but he wasn't certain he could recreate the life of a designer for the screen in a natural, believable way.

Recently, Xiao Zhan found an old book at home - Danshari [book about decluttering and optimization of the home by Hideko Yamashita]. It had been recommended to him by his boss when he was a designer. What the book said about organising one's life made him rethink what he wanted, and what he ought to leave behind.

"Contemporary and slice of life dramas were a totally foreign territory for me." At the start he was to eager to finish his lines, having them memorised back to front. But no one in real life speaks like that. Later, he realised that there was a particular logic in where to pause and where to place the emphasis in a line in a contemporary drama.

For example, when he decided to be an actor, and that he didn't want to do anything else other than acting. "If you try and force me, then let's have the debate. There's no such thing as right and wrong, my people are only looking out for me, isn't it positive to have so much work? But for me, I need to simplify my life. Because there are some things I definitely don't want."

Xiao Zhan's acting career began with an "ordinary overage guy pursues his dream into the entertainment industry" story. He went into a survival show at the age of 24, learned to dance as a total novice, debuted in a boy group, acted in internet dramas, played bit parts in movies, until he hit it big in 2019 and became an attention-grabbing star.

If you choose to do something, then give it your best. That's what Xiao Zhan was taught from a young age. When he was in junior high, his parents bought him a cellphone. Initially when he sent text messages he'd use spaces in place of punctuation. But his father said to him very severely, "where's the punctuation, why isn't there a question mark at the end of your sentence?" So now Xiao Zhan always pays attention to punctuation.

Xiao Zhan has had a competitive spirit since he was a child. So long as it's something he can control, he'd rather not miss a single opportunity. He used to take the bus to school and get anxious on behalf of the people who fell asleep and missed their stops. For the things he can't control, he'd remind himself not to get too caught up and learn to accept the outcome. And before that, do everything he can the best he can.

When asked which of his projects had come about following a lot of effort on his part to land it, Xiao Zhan's response is surprising. He says, "all of them". Before he made it big, he auditioned a lot. Once he'd passed the interview stage, gotten into the final round, even did trial shots with full makeup, and was still replaced. Now of course people pass him scripts, but Xiao Zhan always tells himself, that's just an expression of interest which can be given to many people at once. If he encounters a script he really likes, he'll set up a meeting with the director and talk to them about his understanding of the character. He feels it's important to display the right attitude.

Xiao Zhan grew up just like any other 90s kid - his parents worked, his grandma did all the cooking, he went to school every day, came home, and if he did poorly in an exam he'd get a beating. They ate dinner at 6:30 every night, and then his friends would call for him to come down and play Hide and Seek, Red Light, Green Light, or Hopscotch.

His face shines when he speaks of this time. These ordinary little things all seem rare and precious now. Xiao Zhan says he's grateful for those first 23 years before his dream-like brave foray into the entertainment industry. "I really value those times, I think it was great."

He thinks that if he hadn't entered the industry, he'd probably be living like his classmates and friends, taking clients out for dinner only to come home and do more overtime to finish his design work overnight, day after day.

"Being seen" makes him happy. No matter how busy he gets, Xiao Zhan never complains. "If there's work to be done, then do it properly." While filming The Oath of Love he was also recording the variety show Our Song. Whenever he had a moment between scenes, he'd put on headphones and sing along softly. When his costars came over out of curiosity, he'd give a sheepish grin and explain that he was practicing the song he had to sing that night. "There's no time, really none." Back then, work took up pretty much his entire life.

Xiao Zhan will almost never give himself a holiday. "Unrealistic," he says firmly. When he's exhausted enough, he can fall asleep sitting upright on set.

This year, Xiao Zhan felt a sense of urgency stemming from "not enough works". "Compared to some of my seniors, when they were in their thirties they already had many credits." He clearly understands that a huge breakthrough in his acting skills from just a single piece of work is unlikely. "That probably won't happen for me."

He's considered whether he wants to be an actor with a unique individual style or a crowd-pleaser. His answer is the latter. "They might not be fans of yours, or even feel very positive toward you, but when they know you have a show on, they think, maybe I should check it out, his shows are all pretty good. That's what I want, that's my current goal. Whether I can reach the level of the actors I admire, that's a long road, I'm going to take my time."

"Make more shows, work with more good people, that's the current goal. I'm not thinking about the rest right now," Xiao Zhan says.

[I'll translate and post the Q&A segment later.]

[dragon-communion]

I need to hear more about Godwyn's dragon age (DA2 if you will lmao) because while I know he TECHNICALLY gets an age, I've always found it very dissatisfying since Fia's thing isn't *really* about restoring death tbh and TWLID simply looks to be a horrific state of existence. Making that be a normalized state does not look to be helping the world in the slightest.

Honestly agreed. I would actually argue that Duskborn isn't Godwyn's ending at all- it's specifically Fia's.

Fia doesn't really have a plan for structural and systemic change. She knows who she is and how she's been affected by the current order- as Tarnished, she identifies pretty closely with the undead, and I can see why. What's the difference between our grace-given resurrection and the way skeletons respawn? We were dead, and will eternally die- likewise deathroot came for the dead, who will eternally die unless "weeded".

On top of that, Fia is functionally a surrogate mother for dead people. It's easy to take that concept and make it bigger. Plus, she was 100% part of a cult and never really unpacked that worldview. The Duskborn ending isn't about Godwyn, it's about Fia's decision to be a mother to the dead on a massive scale. She didn't choose Godwyn because she liked who he was when he was alive, she chose him because he's the first of the dead. If you'll forgive my sense of humor, she 100% objectified that man. And, like many mothers, I think she's potentially blind to the idea that her children suffer by existing.

Duskborn is only about Godwyn inasmuch as it enables his body's primal urge to feed, grow, and flourish unceasing like an eldritch cancer. So. If we're going to construct some kind of actually Godwyn-centric ending, it'd have to take his personhood and desires into account.

The captain of the Ressurecting Godwyn squad is Miquella, but as far as I can tell he's given up despite rigorous effort. Maybe true resurrection or even rebirth aren't really possible. Since souls and runes seem to be entwined, I actually think that the reason Miquella couldn't find him is because the Cursemark of Death snatched his soul and incorporated it or something. There's no soul to call because it's already bound to something physical. Could just be obliterated, of course, but let me dream.

Option 1: we use the Cursemark of Death to restore Godwyn's soul, allying specifically with him instead of Fia. He's still infected with deathroot, but there's also a literal dragon in his head doing its best to fight that, so he could theoretically sustain a state of perpetual chronic blight the way Malenia does. He would also probably hate it as much as she does. Still, he seemed to be a compassionate guy who liked allies better than enemies, so I could see him actively making an effort to figure out if the undead like existence, and then based on that information figuring out a proper response. Highly superior undead rights ending for all my fellow goths out there.

Also, he probably actually knows how to be a king and manage resources/politics/humanitarian work post-Shattering, which the other ending options distinctly lack.

Option 2: we ally with Fortissax and weed Godwyn's deathroot. It would be very hard and suck very much and probably involve body horror worm vines or something. I don't think deathroot itself is conscious- I think it's just mindless growth, the instinct of an empty body, combined with the seed that needs growing: the fragment of Death itself propagating in his flesh. It fits pretty nicely with the themes of grafting and such in the game- even the Elden Ring is supported by a trellis. Regardless, we exorcise Godwyn- maybe it needs Destined Death, the true blackflame rune that the Cursemark spawned from, to properly do the job.

Here's where I get crazy. I think the other way to get Godwyn's soul back would be to burn the Cursemark, and/or his body. When you look at Death in Elden Ring, the faction pretty explicitly called just Death used to process bodies and souls via cremation. It'd be cool if we could bring the Twinbird into this, as a purer and more correct form of Death than the blight. Free him with fire, let him be reborn. Depending on how long that takes, Fortissax can step in as regent since it actually knew him and what he'd want better than anyone else.

Most of the dragons have been hunted to the ends of the earth, but with the warring Shardbearers out of the way and the kingdoms of men and dragons broken across the landscape, the most logical move is to try rebuilding. Fortissax is probably significantly more biased than Godwyn and I could see it setting up dragon lords all over the major centers of civilization. People need leaders, okay, and dragons are naturally leaders, obviously this is the correct idea. We can only hope Godwyn gets himself together fast enough to counterbalance Fortissax's idea of a functional and just empire.

Also Crucible influence comes back into fashion and the Omens are treated like proper citizens, because Godwyn likely had Crucible Knights directly in his service and I can't see why he'd have a problem with them. In a way, Godwyn's age would be a slight reversion to Placidusax's age, just with a lot more tiny squishy people.

Is it a perfect fix? No. Is it better than the other endings? Depends on your opinion of "better", really. It's a step backwards in some ways, a step forward in others. But it's still an ending I could realistically see Godwyn at the head of (with a heavy dose of Fortissax).

[arwainian]

Reading This Week 2024 #22

This is the first week since the spring semester ended that I really felt like I read a lot, and a decent amount of books that really grabbed me made that possible

Finished:

The Paper Menagerie and Other Stories by Ken Liu, audiobook read by Corey Brill & Joy Osmanski Reading this was a great time. It's been a while since I've read a collection of short stories and it was so great to read so many things that set out to tell a story and just goes forward and does so. Notably, two different stories in this collection follow the formula of "white American girl child makes friends with an old magical Chinese man who teaches her about Chinese culture through stories of magic." I liked both of them, but it was kinda funny to read two stories by the same author, in different settings, with essentially the same central relationship. I will also repeat that the title story made me cry

A Guest in the House by Emily Carroll This is a horror graphic novel about a woman falling in love with the ghost of her husband's first wife, imagining herself as a knight and the ghost as a princess. it's a very tense character portrait, though I'm a bit confused and dissatisfied by how it ends. This is worth reading for the sake of the art alone. It's both gorgeous and creepy in exactly the measure this story needs.

The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System, Vol. 1 by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu My friend Tort recommended that I read this isekai webnovel for the purpose of giving them my analytical thoughts on it. This backfired because it hit the off switch to my brain and I had a wonderful time just along for the ride, which I think is exactly what I've been craving from a book. I will be reading the next three volumes as soon as my holds from the library come in

Murder Crossed Her Mind by Stephen Spotswood So, technically I had an ARC copy of this book before it was published (because my mom is awesome and sometimes uses her book reviewer clout to get me early copies of books from authors I love), but I delayed reading it for so long that its publish date past! I spent all yesterday afternoon reading it because I was craving a mystery and sapphism, which this series always delivers for me. Now that I know the cliffhanger, I'm kinda glad I delayed so there will be less time between reading this, and the next book getting published next February

DNFs:

The War That Saved My Life by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley, audiobook narrated by Jayne Entwistle This was too be expected, I'm just marking that I won't be continuing it for the sake of organization

The Mimicking of Known Successes by Malka Older, audiobook read by Lindsey Dorcus Abandoning THIS book however was really unexpected for me. I remember seeing so many good reviews for it when it came out, including from some of my favorite authors. it's a mystery novella set on Mars with a sapphic investigator! that seems so my thing! but unfortunately literally nothing about it caught my attention in the first four chapters, even after I switched to the audiobook. the silver lining is that being disappointed by this lead to me finally reading Murder Crossed Her Mind to fill my craving

Started/Ongoing:

Rape and Representation edited by Lynn A. Higgins and Brenda R. Silver while my hunt for summer jobs is not going very well, I can at least start up on my summer research. This a collection of essays, and I've so far read the first two, which are grouped together for being stories from Greek and Roman myth

Reading Plans: I will be trying to read about one section of the Higgins and Silver collection per day, and overall try and read a full book for my thesis research each week (with several article length works serving as appropriate substitute). I'll be looking at the bibliography of each to try and find good readings to follow up. I'm also going to work my way through different books that have been lingering on my bookshelf for a while, since i have the free time for it!

[invisiblegarters]

"I know I'm like the one person who thinks so but come ON they can BOTH do the job stop giving it to just one." You are not the only one, I thought the exact same thing when I watched the trailer for the first time, like oh, so Khao's character gets an emotional story about grief and family and First gets... a character that can talk to cats, okay.

Listen, I love them together, I truly do, but I am tired, and I can't help but think First would be better off without a fixed CP. But I also don't get it because, as you said, The Eclipse exists! They could very much both have emotionally compelling stories, and I don't understand why First doesn't get them.

Aside for that fact, it irritates me how I barely see any FK fan bringing this up, you are supposed to care about both, do you really not see the pattern? Or you do but don't care ofc, which is what I suspect is happening.

Today was not a great day for me in general, and I actually cried a little from frustration because of this lol, I feel unwelcome in the FK fandom because I don't see anyone caring about this (and if someone says anything, they get shut down and accused of being a Khao anti, like what?) I feel so alone in this, and I end up not enjoying their shows because it's the only I can notice.

I guess the only thing I can do is move on tbh, because nothing is gonna change and the fandom also doesn't seem to want it to change, so…

Aw, non. I'm sorry you're having a rough time right now. I hope things get better for you soon.

I am not blaming fans. Of course they don't notice or care; why would they? Their bias is getting the good stuff, so there's no reason for them to be upset. We only complain when we're dissatisfied with something, after all, and for most people this is only how it should be. And to be fair, I can't say with any certainty that I would care overmuch if the situation were reversed, although we might be hearing about how unfair it is a lot more. 🤣

I think part of it is that The Eclipse is based on a novel. I haven't read the novel yet but my guess is that Akk and Aye are both fully realized characters in a way that the OG stuff maybe...doesn't really even try to do, lol. We are lucky in that First is great and he can't help but make a flat, one dimensional character feel real and nuanced, but I'mma be frank, I've made the complaint before that his characters have been paper thin since The Eclipse. So because they've been doing OG stuff, we tend to get what the majority wants, and well...the majority wants Khaotung. He's the one who gets the awards, after all. He's the one fandom never stops talking about. It's not like they don't pay attention to what people respond to, you know? Hell, people have said it themselves, this show is exactly what the fandom wants. Khaotung to give the emotional resonance and First there to be pretty and provide emotional support. 🤷

It sucks, but I always seem to fall for the less popular ones, so I'm kinda used to it. Won't stop me getting irritated sometimes, but what can you do. Genuine advice, if you want it: find a like minded mutual or two that you can commiserate with, or even one who doesn't care at all about FK but is willing to let you let off a little steam. It really helps. But also get one that will tell you if the bitterness is getting too out of control, lol.

One other thing I will say is if this is making you that upset, maybe do quit for a while. It's not that serious, non...or at least it shouldn't be to us. The only person that it really impacts is First, and he seems to be one of those delightful people who is able to be happy with what he has even as he works hard to improve and challenge himself and earn those accolades that he hasn't gotten yet. Would that we could all have that mentality, but it's a rare one.

The world's not a fair place at all, but I have every confidence First's time will come.

[glatisant-questing]

Hakuouki Drama CD: An Unexpected Prospective Recruit (Translation, Part 3)

See Part 2 here.

Yamazaki: I see. You're in quite a prestigious role now. Iba: Indeed, but sometimes, I can't help but envy Toshi-san and everyone in the Shinsengumi. Hijikata: What's got into you, saying that all of a sudden? You can't possibly envy us. Iba: Being able to protect something dear to you is truly admirable. You and everyone else have not only realized your childhood dreams but also earned the gratitude of the Shogunate and the people by battling unruly Ronin, right? Hijikata: Gratitude doesn't necessarily come from everyone. Originally, we outsiders weren't well-liked by the people. Besides, you have something to protect too. Iba: Of course, I have no complaints about my current position, protecting the Shogun. It's just that… even though… Hijikata: What's the matter? Is there something about your job that's bothering you? In the Shogunate, there can be all sorts of problems like scheming, backstabbing, and such. Iba: It's not that… But, Toshi-san… Can I join the Shinsengumi? Hijikata: Huh?! What are you suddenly talking about?! Iba: It's not all of a sudden. If it's all about protecting something, maybe I'd be better off working here. I've been thinking about it for a while. Hijikata: No, you need to calm down. The position and tasks of the Shogun's guards and the Shinsengumi are entirely different. How can you compare the samurai who protect the Sgogun to our group of ronin protecting common people? Iba: What's wrong with that? And, with Kondo-san's and Toshi-san's abilities, you're bound to gain the status of Hatamoto eventually. Hijikata: No, that's not so certain. Yamazaki: If Commander Kondo and Vice Commander Hijikata could become samurai, that would be truly amazing. Iba: Yamazaki, don't just admire them; please help me persuade Toshi-san! Yamazaki: … Persuade, you say? Iba: I want to join the Shinsengumi. You, Yamazaki-kun, joined the Shinsengumi and achieved your dream, right? Yamazaki: Is there something about your current role as the Shogun's guard that you're dissatisfied with? Iba: No, I'm not dissatisfied at all. In this era, protecting the Shogun is a highly honorable task, and I find it very fulfilling. The Shogun has a lot of enemies, and I feel like I should support him. Yamazaki: So, what's the real reason? Iba: If I become a Shinsengumi member, I can protect her and stay by her side all the time, right? Hijikata: Hachiro, you… In the end, that's your real goal, isn't it? Iba: Of course, but it's not just that. Working under the leadership of Kondo-san and Toshi-san, whom I deeply respect, is an immense joy in itself. If you can admit me to become a Shinsengumi soldier, I'm sure I can make a difference. Hijikata: Even if you say that, if you really join, it's bound to raise eyebrows among the top brass of the Shogunate or even displease your father. It will definitely become a problem. Iba: What's the point of trying to please the top brass of the Shogunate who are largely a thing of the past? Toshi-san once said that most of the shogunate's core members are corrupted. Hijikata: I might have said something like that, but I probably misspoke. Yamazaki: Iba-san, please calm down a bit. The Shinsengumi isn't without its complications. If Iba-san joins us, there will undoubtedly be some bumps along the way. Iba: Are you saying my swordsmanship skills aren't sufficient? Hijikata: No, it's not about swordsmanship. Your sword skills are more than sufficient for a unit caption. Iba: Really? Then, please, let me join! 😣

(tbc.)

[exrankluck]

Dear Vocalist Unlimited Veronica Translation — PIECES [track two]

disclaimer: this is 90% AI-generated transcription and translation, some things might be inaccurate or awkward.

ディア ヴォーカリスト Unlimited エントリーNo.5 Veronica / モモチ (CV: 豊永利行)

- Drums: YAMATO (CV. Shunichi Toki)

- Guitar: OHGI (CV. Makoto Furukawa)

- Bass: AMA (CV. Kengo Kawanishi)

- Keyboard: SHIZURU (CV. Yoshitaka Yamaya)

Yamato: Ah, I see. That could be a good idea. Nowadays, online shopping is more popular, so it might be better to do that too.

But, what about the expiration date issue? Ultimately, that's the root of the problem in our city. What is dad saying about this?

He used to say things that seemed to be against that kind of thing. Like, "Try to use additives as little as possible”.

Oh, Momochi-kun!

Over here, over here! Sorry, but let's talk about this another time. I'm going to a drinking party now.

Mm, bye-bye.

mmc: Sorry for making you come to pick me up~

Yamato: No problem, no problem, it's on the way anyway.

mmc: By the way, did Yamato-kun get a new car again?

Yamato: Ah, did you notice? Actually, it was just delivered last week.

Yamato: I scratched the old car in the parking lot of my apartment building.

mmc: Eh, you bought a new one because of that? Or rather, you hit it pretty hard, didn't you?

Yamato: No, there wasn't even a dent, just a little paint came off.

Yamato: So, I wasn't planning on getting a new one…

Yamato: I really liked it, but you know how those salespeople at the dealership are so good at talking?

Yamato: They said, "You can upgrade to a new car with just this much from the trade-in value, even after subtracting the repair cost." I fell for it, scary.

mmc: I see. I don't have a car, so I don't really understand that kind of thing... ha ha…

[02:01] Ohgi

Ohgi: Yes, I've been able to work on idol group songs one after another lately. Thank you for listening. But they are a male group after all, and Spark is a group that shows off acrobatic dance moves.

The director was aware of that.

Thank you very much for today.

Really? I'm honored. Then, I look forward to hearing about the album.

It depends on the timing, but if there aren’t any issues, I think I can still take a few more songs. The conversation will change a bit if it's after the New Year, though.

Yes, that's right.

But, well, I'm not the one who writes Veronica's songs, so I think it'll be a while before I get too busy with that.

The thing that's keeping me busy right now is another job that I took on my own.

It's often said subtly, but for me, the reason Veronica can continue in this form is precisely because of it, you know?

There's a different kind of appeal too.

*shiny sfx flashback*

[03:25]

mmc: Oh, really? Then, was the song for that commercial also by Ohgi-kun?

Ohgi: Yes, I made it before Veronica's offer came in.

Ohgi: It feels like it's been a while since then, though.

mmc: I see... Hey, Ohgi-kun, as a guitarist of course, but even as a music producer, you're selling so well. So why Veronica?

Ohgi: Well...

Ohgi: It's because of the songs I heard.

mmc: Huh? The songs?

Ohgi: Yeah, I just thought they were amazing when I heard the songs that Momochi-kun made.

Ohgi; So I said if I could be involved even just by playing the guitar, I would.

Ohgi: And besides, lately, producing work has become my main thing.

Ohgi: I'm not dissatisfied with that, but sometimes it's good to experience things from the player's perspective.

Ohgi: There are things you can learn from it.

mmc: Hmm, I see.

mmc: Oh, by the way, it's a bit late to ask, but...

mmc: Ohgi-kun is your real name, right? It's a rare name.

Ohgi: Well, yeah.

Ohgi: But if you say that, Momochi-kun's name is rare too, isn't it?

mmc: Haha, that’s true. I was a little confused at first myself.

Ohgi: Oh… but that's your real name too, right?

mmc: Yeah.

mmc: But originally it was a pretty common name, and I suddenly had to start living with my father in the middle of elementary school.**

Ohgi: I see. Sorry. I guess I asked something unnecessary.

mmc: No, it's fine…

mmc: Just keep it a secret from everyone else, okay? I still don't know everyone very well.

Ohgi: Of course. Me too.

Ohgi: I'll pretend I didn't hear anything.

[05:34]

Shizuru: Oh, here they come. Welcome.

Yamato: Hey, Shizu. I parked the car in the usual spot, so can you keep it until tomorrow?

Yamato: If it's in the way, feel free to move it.

Yamato: OK, here's the key.

Shizuru: Got it. I'll tell the staff later.

mmc: What about Ohgi-kun and Akkun? Are they working today too?

Shizuru: Mhm. They're coming from the job site, so they'll be a little late.

Shizuru: They said it was okay to start without them, though.

Yamato: By the way, the inside of the store looks so different now!

Yamato: Did you buy this grand piano?

Shizuru: No, I just had the one from my house brought here.

Shizuru: To be honest, I haven't used it much.

Shizuru: But it seemed like a waste to just leave it as a decoration.

Shizuru: Hey, Momochi-kun, don't you notice something?

mmc: Huh? Notice what?

Shizuru: Well, I guess not.

Shizuru: Maybe it's hard to tell since the scale is different. I tried to make it look like a stage, with a little more height.

Shizuru: Remember the bar you took me to, Momochi-kun? The one near the old apartment you used to live in.

mmc: Eh?

Yamato: Oh, yeah, I remember now! Now that you mention it, it does look a little similar!

mmc: Wait, did we go to that bar together?

Yamato: We did! I remember that you took me out once a while ago, don't remember when it was though.

*shiny sfx flashback*

[07:13]

Yamato: Oh, I see. Fine. Mhm, see you later!

Yamato: No good, Ohgi can't make it today either.

Shizuru: Aw, really? So it's just the two of us in the end? Akkun is overseas now.

Yamato: We had plans for a private get-together after such a long time.

Yamato: In that case, let's try inviting Momochi-kun, even if it's a long shot~

Shizuru: Or rather, I'll just lure him in suddenly*. His apartment is quite close by, right?

Yamato: Definitely, definitely! Shall we go and see if he's up for it?

[08:05]

Shizuru: Huh, they're playing live music. That's amazing.

mmc: Yeah, it's a nice atmosphere here, isn't it?

Yamato: Do you come here often, Momochi-kun?

mmc: Not really that often... Oh, I'll have the usual.

Shizuru: Alright, then I'll have the same.

Yamato: Me too!

Yamato: By the way, sorry for just showing up at your apartment like that~! I didn't think you'd have a friend over. Is it okay that you came out to the bar, Momochi-kun?

mmc: Eh? Yeah, don’t worry. It's her friend who is visiting… ha ha…

Shizuru: Are you close with your girlfriend's friends? I envy that.

mmc: W-well, not really "close"...

mmc: Anyways, Yamato-kun, are you okay with being taken to a bar like this? I thought you said you were driving earlier...

Yamato: Yeah, I'll take a taxi back, so it's okay.

Yamato: I have another car at home, so I'll just leave it in the parking lot and pick it up when I have time.

mmc: Oh, I see. That's good, then.

[09:22]

Shizuru: Oh, do you think someone else will sing next?

mmc: Ah, yeah, that's right. That person is the resident singer here. Sometimes they play just the piano, like earlier.

Shizuru: Oh, I see. So singing is more of the main thing? I’m looking forward to it.

Yamato: By the way, what about you, Momochi-kun? What do you think of their singing? Is it good?

mmc: Eh? …Oh, yeah. They're pretty good, you know?

Shizuru: If you ask Momochi-kun, it's kind of unfair to the singer, don't you think? I mean, he can sing so well, so it's only natural to have high standards, right?

Shizuru: By the way, I've been wondering about this for a while now…

Shizuru: Momochi-kun, why did you start doing music? Was there a particular reason?

mmc: Huh?

mmc: Let me see... I didn't consciously start doing it myself, but I just naturally started doing it through my relationships with people around me... And there was a piano at home since I was little.

Shizuru: Hmm... Oh, could it be that your parents were also in the music industry?

mmc: No, it's not that big of a deal? Oh, look, it's starting.

[10:52]

mmc: Oh, yeah. I think something like that might have happened.

mmc: I see, you liked that bar. I stopped going there much after that, and I've moved since then.

Shizuru: The atmosphere was good, but above all, isn’t it the best being able to drink while listening to live music by a professional singer?

Shizuru: I want to hire an exclusive singer at my place too. It could be every weekend or every other week.

Shizuru: Does anyone know a good person? We have a piano, so they could incorporate that too.

Yamato: Shizuru can just play it himself.

Yamato: Oh, and how about Momochi-kun singing? Cheers would definitely be happy!

mmc: Eh?

Shizuru: Hmmm, I wasn't really planning on playing it myself.

Shizuru: But if Momochi-kun is going to sing, that's a different story.

Shizuru: We could make it a reservation-only event for that day.

mmc: But if we’re going to do it, we should do it properly as a Veronica live, right? I mean, isn't that what everyone wants?

mmc: This place is great but the number of tables is limited, and there will be many people who won't be able to come to listen if we do it this way… ne?

Yamato: Certainly~ If Momochi is going to sing, this place will be full in seconds.

Shizuru: Hey, don't say things like "this place." We can accommodate twice as many people as when we first opened.

Ohgi: Oh, sorry, I'm late.

Shizuru: Welcome! In fact, you're earlier than I expected.

Yamato: I wonder if Akkun is still on his way?

Yamato: Let's wait until everyone is here to make a toast. For now, let's get started, shall we?

mmc: Y-yeah. We'll just be even more delayed if we wait.

Shizuru: Okay, then let's have some hors d'oeuvres brought in for now.

Shizuru: What's everyone having to drink first?

Ohgi: I'm fine with anything.

Yamato: Actually, what do you have today? I want to choose~!

Shizuru: Um, today we have... Hey, let me show you what's in the cellar.

*"いきなりと釣っちゃう" (ikinari to tsuruccha) in this context means "to suddenly invite (someone)". The idiom "釣る" (tsuru) literally means "to fish".

**I believe Momochi means that he used to have a common last name, until he had to move in with his father in elementary school - and took on his father’s rare last name…? ;; the momochi lore ahh

[babyangelsky]

Now that Anti Reset and Perfect Propose have soothed my salty little soul and I've had some time to sit with the finale I just wanted to get some thoughts out.

I'm...unsatisfied, to say the very least. I know we got that "to be continued" which hopefully means we get another season or a special or a movie or something to tie up all these loose ends because I need them tied. Cliffhangers by nature are meant to leave at least a couple of loose ends untied but Den. Bro.

Even if what we saw was a season finale and not a series finale, that doesn't really help because even season finales give a little bit of closure. Here there was no closure. None. Anywhere. That finale didn't leave me with the anticipatory kind of frustration that season finales have been leaving me with my whole life, where I'm excited to see what happens next. It left me with the frustration of needing answers but not knowing whether I'm actually going to get them.

One, because there's no guarantee we'll actually get a continuation. How many series have we seen announced that just never get made? (Wish Me Luck and Love Puzzle, I'm still waiting for you) And two, because Den has lost my trust as a writer.

I've been writing for eleven years. Not in any sort of professional capacity, just as a hobby, but even so I feel qualified to say that we tell on ourselves a little bit through our writing. Through any creative medium really. Part of the artist always goes into their art, they're reflected in their art.

I remember @heretherebedork saying in a post that Den's hangups about kink, virginity, and sex within and without the context of a committed relationship were coming through in his writing choices, and they did. Especially when you compare Playboyy to Only Friends which you can't help but do because there's so much overlap. Echoes of Only Friends were always present from the very beginning.

Den said himself that what he didn't get to say in Only Friends he said in Playboyy, and to an extent I do think that's true. I do think he touched on a lot of things he wanted to touch on, but that's just it. He merely touched on them. Commentary about sex and sex work was there in Playboyy and when it was done well, it was done really well.

When it wasn't, it stayed very surface level at best and at worst, it hindered not only the development of the characters and their relationships but also the plot.

I enjoyed Playboyy. All I ask of the media I consume is that it entertain me and I try not to look at it through the lens of a writer. If a piece of media I consume entertains me, it has done its job. Playboyy did its job but I am so dissatisfied with that finale and that dissatisfaction is deeply rooted in my lens as a writer.

I can't just see it as a piece of queer media about sex. I can't help but see all the things I would've changed or done differently or excluded all together. Stories about sex have the right to exist. Stories that talk about and include sex have the right to exist.

But if you set out to write a holistic story about sex that runs the gamut of experiences on both an individual and societal level, which is what Den intended, how then can you demonize the aspects of sex that don't conform to your worldview while idealizing the ones that do?

That I think is my biggest beef with Playboyy and with Den's writing. If I can't trust you to do what you said you were going to, how can I trust you to tie up the entire tassel of loose ends you left in your plot?

Who knows if that all made sense but I just needed to get it out of my system so I can rest. I hope we get some sort of continuation for this story because I have so many goddamn questions but I'm honestly wary of hoping for it.

[loorain]

Sims 4 Fontenot Legacy - New Beginnings in the New Year

First thing the next morning, as Scarlett finishes up her breakfast, she gets a call. An offer to work in the style influencer career? Well, Scarlett did say she was looking for a new challenge. After reaching the top level of the computer engineering career and then playing soccer professionally all before having Sabrina, she's been out of the workforce for some time. Her success has meant she didn't need to worry about money and could focus on raising her child and niece and nephew. Now that they're all adults with families of their own, Scarlett wants to do something new, and this is just the thing! Without much of a second thought, she accepts the job and officially starts a career in style influencing!

Sigrid is going through her own self-improvements too. After getting dressed for the day, Sigrid takes a good look at herself in the mirror and is slightly dissatisfied with what she sees. Her clothes don't seem to fit like they used to, and is that new cellulite? With her wedding dress already being ordered and fitted, she can't afford to not fit inside. No, something has to change.

Robin walks into the room, spotting her staring at herself in the mirror.

Robin: I know that face. Come, sit.

The two sit and Sigrid twiddles her fingers nervously.

Sigrid: Babe, be honest, have I gained some weight?

Robin pauses, knowing the common "does this make me look fat" trap generations of men have found themselves in.

Robin: Sig, you look beautiful as always. Do you feel like you've gained weight?

Sigrid: Well I haven't been able to keep up my workout regiment the same since the girls were born. It just seems like it's gotten harder and harder to find time in the day for it. And with the wedding so close, I don't want to mess anything up.

Robin: Well there's an easy solution to that! We can just start working out together again! Get you back on a regular workout routine! Just to give you peace of mind of course, because you look great.

Sigrid chuckles, noticing Robin's attempts to placate her.

Sigrid: Thanks honey. And yeah, maybe that'll be good for me. I miss being more active. I've been feeling a little too sedentary lately.

Robin: Then let's do it! I've already finished my workout for the day, so I'll take care of the girls while you get a sesh in, and then from this point forward we can work out together. How does that sound?

Sigrid: That sounds great. Thanks babe.

Robin: Don't mention it, now go get changed! Can't get a good workout in in those clothes!

So with that, Sigrid does indeed get changed and into the home gym, immediately starting to feel like herself as she does some time on the treadmill.

And Robin keeps his word of watching the girls, but the twins mostly take care of themselves, Audrey enjoying some doll time while Alma takes a nap.

Sigrid finishes her workout feeling awesome, but she also can't resist a fresh vanilla cupcake that Scarlett made shortly before she finished in the home gym. Hey, work hard, play hard!

Sabrina and Beau got to enjoy some time together as well, having a mini meetup/date before Juno returned from his dad's apartment. The two are feeling very secure in the relationship for the first time and things seem to be moving in the right direction!

Overall, the day was spent with family and good times, and each adult fulfilled something that is helping them lead toward their collective and individual futures! A new year brings with it many changes, and everyone at the Legacy House seems ready to take it on.

[midnightmusings88]

Hello

How are you?

I wanted to know if I have any chances of romantic love and a husband in future? I've been perpetually single all my life due to trauma from my parents and the oppressive community I live in. Only now that I'm so much older that I'm somewhat able to stand up for myself. But i fear I've lost my opportunity.

Thanks a lot.

Heyo! I hope you are well. Thanks so much for your patience and for the opportunity to read for you. I hope it resonates and helps you.

The thing that really stood out to me about this question is that you seem to be feeling hopeless. I want you to know first and foremost that it is never too late to change your life, and there are always opportunities for you to pursue and have the things you want. The single biggest message I have for you, backed up by the cards, is that you need to summon some faith. Have an inner knowing that everything you want is available to you, and that you deserve to pursue it. That said, let's dive into the reading.

So, honestly, I did try to pull some romance-related messages for you, but the Universe (or God, or whatever you'd prefer to think of it as, if you believe in that) corrected me that we need to address your current situation instead. As far as the "oppressive community" in which you live, it's a dead end. There is no chance of real happiness for you if you continue. I tried to pull more on it, but I didn't get a whole lot of specific details other than that it's extremely superficial and secretive (I kept hearing "hush hush" and "shhhh" in my head). There was/is probably an obsession with looking like everything is good, even when things are not. Also, this might be random, but I got that either one of your parents had an affair, or possibly you yourself have tried to be with someone before and it didn't last because there were too many secrets (or you had to keep the whole relationship secret). It doesn't have to be either of those things specifically, but I just really strongly felt an affair-type energy, which could play out a number of different ways. Something very forbidden, kept on the down-low, and very impermanent. I can sense the unhappiness, some of which is clear in your ask, that this environment has brought you, and yet I see you still trying to convince yourself that it's fine. I feel this very strong emotional attachment, sentimentality, and sugarcoating coexistent with loneliness, confusion, and self-doubt. This is, as patronizing as this may sound, pretty common, to different degrees, among many people. So many people live their lives simply accepting that they're dissatisfied, and trying to convince themselves that it's all good. The job that drains them, the soul-sucking (and not in a good way hehehe) marriage, and the big empty house are what they wanted, right? People create their own prisons all the time, myself included. Thing is, your success and happiness in life are all dependent on whether you choose (and I say "choose" because you absolutely can) to break free from whatever imprisons you.

I heard repeatedly while I was pulling this reading "You need to want better things for yourself". You, like so many people, are afraid of taking a leap of faith towards an uncertain future, preferring the familiarity of unhappiness. I would look into Søren Kierkegaard's philosophy, if I were you, specifically his work about leaps of faith. You can find plenty of videos on the subject on YouTube, or articles on the internet. I pulled several cards that reference independence, life satisfaction, fulfillment, even financial comfort, if you extricate yourself from where you are now. That means that good things are waiting for you!

Think of life as a table with a lazy Susan in the middle, filled with lots of colorful, delicious dishes, some mediocre ones, and some dry, crusty, burnt, or rancid ones too. The table isn't circular, so not everyone has great access to the lazy Susan. Plus, it rotates, so even if the opportunity passes once, the same or a better one always comes around again. The people who are closest to the middle have the best opportunity to grab the finest food, while those situated on the ends often find that even if someone graciously hands them the gourmet meals, they're often cold and unappetizing by the time they get to their seat. Maybe you aren't seated close to the middle of the table, so good things look far away from you. That doesn't mean you can't have them! It just means you need to be self-sufficient enough to ask or reach for the food you want yourself. Accept that you're not happy right now. Accept how you really feel about yourself, your life up until now, and who/where you want to be. Have faith that this life is for you! Life is a gift filled with opportunities; start living it to the fullest.

This reading took a lot out of me haha, but I really hope it reaches you. This felt really important, and I also empathize with you. Wishing you all the best.

[neodreamgirl]

there's so many things that have been bothering me these past couple of weeks...

but what I really want to talk about is the fear I have of becoming depressed again. things are difficult right now for me financially, and I am finding it very hard to find a new job. throughout this difficult transition of being a college student to being an adult navigating the real world, I have been lucky enough to still be on anti-depressants. they block the extreme negative emotions that come with depression, but I still feel secondary things. my mood is very low, I feel tired often, I don't want to talk to anyone, and most of all, I feel shame. you can also add in a touch of frustration to the mix.

actually, frustration might be what i have been feeling all along. i'm dissatisfied with where i'm at in life. I feel embarrassed, ashamed...it seems like no matter how many job applications I fill out, no one thinks i'm worthy of hearing back. every time I walk into my job, I get a headache. i'm so frustrated and upset with myself because there is no one to blame but me. my efforts may not be enough. my resume is garbage. maybe i'm not hungry enough for success and the cosmos are acting accordingly? I don't know...

but there's something so humorous about this. there are two other things bothering me at the moment, too, but I can't seem to focus on them. I think I have learned to prioritize better now that i'm 25...the frontal lobe is in full effect it seems. I feel like i've detached from this guy that I was dating for about 3/4 months. at first, I was full of anxiety when he suddenly stopped texting me, but it went away after I made note that I have abandonment issues (LMAO?). i'm upset that we aren't talking right now, but I'm not too sure why it isn't bothering me as much. or maybe it's bothering me so much which is why I haven't reached out to any of my friends about it. someone that I considered my best friend hurt me, too. I had considered her my best friend for 5+ years and she turned around and threw my struggles in my face when I couldn't be there for her because of them. she hasn't apologized for it, either. she acts like she did nothing wrong. that sucks. but, I also haven't reached out to anyone to tell them how much it bothered me that she texted me recently like nothing. she ignored my text about how I feel like she doesn't care about what I have to say, therefore I feel like we should take a break from our friendship. she ignored that text for weeks.

these two situations and the way i'm handlng them feels new to me. I usually get very anxious over being ghosted and super upset when someone I considered close pisses me off/hurts me. instead, it's like a shallow feeling of disappointment mixed with sadness. the best part about the guy and my best friend is that this all happened at the same time. both of them just disappointing me back to back.

i think my frustration overshadows every other emotion. my frustration seems to be the driving force behind me isolating myself and wanting to stay in bed all day on my phone, laptop or reading a book. in fact, the only thing I have interest in doing is sleeping, pilates, and reading. i'm afraid that if this goes on, i'll become depressed...I don't like who I am when I am depressed. maybe the anti depressants will prevent that from happening, but still. it feels like I don't have the energy or motivation to interact with people, which is probably why I'm not hitting up that guy, bothering him and asking him if he's okay. it's like i'm content with not speaking to him at the moment. I don't want to go back and forth with my "best friend" because I know she won't listen, but also because I don't have the energy. I feel like I need to let these things run their course while I stay in my own bubble and figure out what my next step is with work. what do I do? who do I talk to? how do I lock in? I feel like hiding from the world until I have it figured it out. which sucks, and I know it isn't healthy, but it feels nice for a while...